You have always been the dependable one. The giver. The caretaker. The person who pours until your own cup runs dry. Maybe you have told yourself this is love.
But when giving leaves you exhausted, unheard, or guilty for having needs, that is not devotion. It is self-neglect.
If you have been doing everything right and still feel empty, these five signs may sound achingly familiar. Journaling offers a way back to yourself: gentle, intentional, and page by page.
1. Apologizing for Your Needs
Love does not erase your needs. It honors them.
Each time you apologize for needing care, rest, or space, you are pouring from a place of emptiness instead of love.
Practice This Mindset Shift:
Replace “I am sorry” with “Thank you.” For example: “Thank you for understanding I need rest tonight.” Gratitude validates your needs instead of shrinking them.
Awareness is the first step toward making different choices.
2. Measuring Your Worth by What You Do
Your value is not measured by usefulness.
If you only feel worthy when you are helping, fixing, or serving, overgiving has become a part of your identity.
Self Love Journaling Practice: Create a worth list of ten qualities that have nothing to do with productivity. Think of kindness, creativity, and resilience.
Return to this list whenever you feel yourself equating worth with performance. Writing this list reminds you that love and worth are not something you earn. They already belong to you.
3. Saying Yes When Your Body Says No
A true yes feels light.
When your body is asking for rest but you keep saying yes, you are agreeing to more than your body can handle.
Mindfulness Reflection: Before you respond, pause and ask: Am I choosing this from love, or am I agreeing out of fear of letting someone down?
Write your answer in your journal. Over time, you will see the places where you have been giving yourself away.
A no that protects your well-being is not rejection. It is a form of devotion.
4. Swallowing Truth to Keep the Peace
When you silence your truth to avoid conflict, resentment grows quietly.
Peace on the surface often means unrest inside.
Boundaries to Start Practicing: Start with small acts of honesty. Try saying, “I would prefer to eat at home tonight,” or “That is not something I enjoy.”
Then ask yourself: What did it feel like to share my truth, even in this simple way?
Boundaries are not built all at once. They grow in small, brave moments.
5. Feeling Guilty for Self-Care
If resting, saying no, or creating space makes you feel selfish, guilt has attached itself to your idea of care.
Caring for yourself is not neglect. It is what allows you to keep showing up.
Self Trust Shift: Journal with this reminder: Self-care is not selfish. It is sustainable.
Write three ways caring for yourself helps you become more present, more generous, and more loving in your relationships.
Self-care is not indulgence. It is maintenance. Just as you would charge your phone before it dies, your body and mind also need replenishment.
Journal Prompts to Reflect On
Where in my life am I giving to prove I am worthy rather than giving from love?
What needs of mine have I been silencing or apologizing for?
How would love look different if I included myself in it?
Even one page of reflection can uncover patterns you have carried for years.
If this feels familiar, you do not have to untangle it alone. The Love You Deserve Journal is a 30 day guided space to explore your patterns, rebuild self trust, and practice love that includes you too.